[Quiet. This is where she has the most sympathy for Esther. She has spent a lot of her life pretending to be more harmless than she is.]
And it's - when you've been rejected by people who should have loved you, when they despise you and you have no recourse. You make yourself as lovable as you can. You hollow yourself out to hold on to the mask because you know what the real you deserves, and you can't bear it. And you're aware at every moment that it's lies, and it makes you hate everyone around you for preferring the mask and hate yourself more too, and you just get more and more monstrous, until you start killing people in secret.
no subject
[Quiet. This is where she has the most sympathy for Esther. She has spent a lot of her life pretending to be more harmless than she is.]
And it's - when you've been rejected by people who should have loved you, when they despise you and you have no recourse. You make yourself as lovable as you can. You hollow yourself out to hold on to the mask because you know what the real you deserves, and you can't bear it. And you're aware at every moment that it's lies, and it makes you hate everyone around you for preferring the mask and hate yourself more too, and you just get more and more monstrous, until you start killing people in secret.
[She takes a long drink.]
It's super fucking messed up.