Anya Lehnsherr | Earth 97400 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fridgetothefire) wrote2014-02-17 08:14 pm
fridgetothefire) wrote2014-02-17 08:14 pm
041 ☣ something for everyone
[Filtered to graduates/wardens who were once inmates]
What did you sacrifice, to graduate?
Someone asked me recently, and I didn't have an answer. I'm wondering if that's strange.
[Filtered to wardens who were never inmates.]
Do any of you feel trapped here? Or have you, in the past, because you needed your deal so badly? It just - it seems like a much more important distinction, in some ways, between wardens and inmates, than being able to get a drink without asking someone to buzz you in first, that we can walk away and they can't.
But I'm not sure it's that straightforward.
[Filtered to inmates]
How many of you want to change? Not to graduate, that's a very different question, and not necessarily into - whoever the admiral wants you to be. Just change, in general.
Do you want to be different than you are, in any way, or not?
[Private to the Admiral]
[Wryly, amiably.]
I don't suppose you'll tell me what you're getting out of all this.
[Spam for Harvey]
[For a long time, she practiced in private. In Bruce's room, in Cass's. She'd work with Natasha or Sokolov or Bea in the gym, because that's where they were, but when she was on her own, without the clear label of 'student' hanging over her, she'd do it with a yoga mat and a locking door. Old paranoid habits, needing to be underestimated. She's realized, lately, how much more convenient the gym is, has been gradually trying to acclimate herself to working through drills under anyone else's eyes. She's there now, moving through forms and combinations Bruce taught her, counting out her breaths. Her lungs are - compensating, slowly, better than they were, even if she'll never quite hit the same caliber of athleticism that she might have otherwise. It feels good, not just to push herself, but to know she's going somewhere.]
[Private to Abigail; wibbly timed to after their conversations with Ben.]
I told you once that I was being as straightforward with you as I knew how to be. In the interest of resurrecting that - this scares me. Not what Ben's doing, me and you.
But I will do everything in my power to take care of both of you, as much as you need.
What did you sacrifice, to graduate?
Someone asked me recently, and I didn't have an answer. I'm wondering if that's strange.
[Filtered to wardens who were never inmates.]
Do any of you feel trapped here? Or have you, in the past, because you needed your deal so badly? It just - it seems like a much more important distinction, in some ways, between wardens and inmates, than being able to get a drink without asking someone to buzz you in first, that we can walk away and they can't.
But I'm not sure it's that straightforward.
[Filtered to inmates]
How many of you want to change? Not to graduate, that's a very different question, and not necessarily into - whoever the admiral wants you to be. Just change, in general.
Do you want to be different than you are, in any way, or not?
[Private to the Admiral]
[Wryly, amiably.]
I don't suppose you'll tell me what you're getting out of all this.
[Spam for Harvey]
[For a long time, she practiced in private. In Bruce's room, in Cass's. She'd work with Natasha or Sokolov or Bea in the gym, because that's where they were, but when she was on her own, without the clear label of 'student' hanging over her, she'd do it with a yoga mat and a locking door. Old paranoid habits, needing to be underestimated. She's realized, lately, how much more convenient the gym is, has been gradually trying to acclimate herself to working through drills under anyone else's eyes. She's there now, moving through forms and combinations Bruce taught her, counting out her breaths. Her lungs are - compensating, slowly, better than they were, even if she'll never quite hit the same caliber of athleticism that she might have otherwise. It feels good, not just to push herself, but to know she's going somewhere.]
[Private to Abigail; wibbly timed to after their conversations with Ben.]
I told you once that I was being as straightforward with you as I knew how to be. In the interest of resurrecting that - this scares me. Not what Ben's doing, me and you.
But I will do everything in my power to take care of both of you, as much as you need.
[Second Warden Filter]
I could leave without my Deal. It'd be hard, but I could. But leave... some of the people hanging? I don't think I could do that.
[Second Warden Filter]
If you ever go - and presumably you will eventually, if your deal has anything to do with you? - then you're probably going to leave somebody hanging.
[Second Warden Filter]
Just going to have to go forward and remind myself of the ame thing i remind myself every time I put on the helmet: can't save them all. You will fail. Accept it, and go forward.
[Second Warden Filter]
[Second Warden Filter]
[Second Warden Filter]
[Second Warden Filter]
I guess so. Kinda tomato, tomahto, in the end, though. But-- that's what it'll be. In the end I'll have to see what I've accomplished, accept I've reached my limit, and go home and pick up in a world that will probably still need me.
I just hope it works out that way. No plan survives contact with the enemy, as it were, so in the end it'll be by the seat of my dress pants, with a hope and a prayer.