fridgetothefire | 045 ☣someone at sunrise be distraught

[Public, Video]

[Anya is sitting at the desk in the maintenance office. Dean's jacket is thrown over the back of the chair - she couldn't leave it behind, couldn't quite wear it either. Her eyes are red-rimmed, but her cheeks are dry, and she smiles.]

Hi. For all you new kids, I'm Anya Lensherr, former crazy inmate, and current head of maintenance.

[That was a little harder to say than she expected. But she mostly doesn't let it show.]

I'm in the market for some minions. Any inmates who know basic carpentry, electrical wiring, or plumbing should come talk to me. Any inmates who want to learn any of that should come talk to me. I'm a good talker, I'm a good listener, and I make great cookies.

You don't get to use the cool power tools until I'm convinced you'll use them according to the factory guidelines, but it's a pretty good gig, lots of downtime in between wall-shattering catastrophes, independent projects generally allowed. Preference goes to people without other jobs yet, I get final say, this is a benevolent hardware and transistor dictatorship, et cetera.

[Private, to Alec Trevelyan]

Did you ever talk to Dean before he left? I don't know if you're even still interested, but we'd be happy to have you.

[Private to Sylvanas, later, from her room]

You sing, right?

[Private to Debra Morgan]

How are you settling in?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No poaching my minions.

[But she grins. She'll probably take him up on it.]

They left us in charge.

[ wth, man ]

I'm so tempted to give people obnoxious wallpaper while they're out to lunch.

[the struggle is reeeeaal]

I barely know anything about plants.

I could put surveillance everywhere. And remote mines for when we get boarded by evil space lobsters or something. Secret passages.

I'm a supervillain, who trusted me with this?

Those sound like good ideas.

Oh, sure, until I fall into the heart of the barge and get eaten. I didn't even know that was a thing. Why don't we get manuals?

Ask the Admiral. Maybe he'll take pity on your poor, supervillain ways.

He should. I'm a very adorable supervillain.

He took pity on both of us already.

For which I am very grateful. I'd send a fruit basket if I had his address.

Write 'Admiral' on it and throw it over the side.

You know what, I'm going to try that.

It's got to be stuff we pick up in port, though, giving him his own fruit back is tacky.

So make him cookies instead.

He provides half my baking supplies!

No, next earth-like port, I'm getting a sweet basket with a ton of ribbons, and, like, pomegranates and strawberries and champagne, and maybe tiny cakes from an actual bakery with fancy icing art. You can write a card if you want.

I'll throw it over the side.

In the basket, or do you want to do your own?

I'll throw it all over the side.

Why do you get to throw it? I want to throw it.

I suggested it. It was my idea.

Fine, fine. But I'm still picking the basket. And the champagne.

Fine.

045 ☣someone at sunrise be distraught

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