fridgetothefire | 005 ☣ Backdated to earlyish on the second day of the contagion plot

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005 ☣ Backdated to earlyish on the second day of the contagion plot

[Text, separately private to Batman, Lua, Wanda, and Pietro.]

I'm not sure what's happening, but not everyone is in their right mind. I'm okay, but I'm not going meet with anyone in person until this is over.

[Because you might not still be the people she knows.]

Please stay safe.

*

[Private text to Lua, later on the third day. She leaves the comm in her room immediately after sending it, so there are no replies.]

Lua,

Checking in, even if it's not quite what you'd like to hear. I've been infected. I've seen first hand what this disease can to do people. I'm going to die sooner or later, and I'd honestly prefer sooner, before the agonizing degradation of my mind to my own worst fears and aggressions. I've been observing my progression carefully, and not only am I quite miserable, the temptation to slip next door and hurt Erik is alluring, insistent, and growing. I know I am capable of it, but we've made our peace, more or less, and I would rather not be the one to break it.

Considering all of this, I am going to kill myself as neatly and painlessly as possible. Please do not take this as a sign of despair, or any reflection on you. I have simply determined that cutting my losses and accepting a single death toll is the best option for me at this time. Please do not try to find me or stop me; I would hate it if you got hurt because of me. Stay inside and stay safe. I would prefer not to be revived until this plague is no longer a concern.

Gratefully yours,
Anya L.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Checking in. [Deal with it.] Are you okay?

I'm fine today.

[Sweet voiced, prim. Ever so slightly an emphasis on 'today'.]

Are you looking after me now?

[It sounds playful, and it absolutely is not. She craves attention and loathes control; her reaction could easily go either way.]

I'm checking to see if people I like are dead. Is that okay with you?

[Don't fuss at him, he just got strangled a little while ago.]

[Dryly]

I suppose I'll live.

[Anya you're not as clever as you think you are. But for the moment, she's pleased with him.]

You better.

[But she sounds normal-ish, so he's not going to worry too much yet. And then will feel awful about it later. Teehee.]

My best friend tossed me through a door yesterday. I'm not sure how many bones I broke, exactly.

[Her tone hasn't changed: light, conversational, sweet.]

I'm better now, but I'm trying to keep things low-key today.

[His assumption is that she's trying to throw him off, so he matches her tone.]

I just got half-strangled about an hour ago. On the plus side, it wasn't a friend of mine. So it's been a rough day for everybody.

[She did say it partly to mess with him, but also to get a rise out of him, and she pouts for half a second when she doesn't get it. But - well. There's a limit to how much she really expected him to care. And it's not actually an inappropriate reaction, considering their circumstances. She makes a soft noise in her throat, a wordless murmur of sympathetic aggravation - she really dislikes strangulation.]

Who was it?

Why do you want to know?

[He's still kind of suspicious of her. Also if she's infected and/or actually gives a damn enough to be vindictive, he doesn't actually want Chris murdered, even though Chris totally sucks.]

It's one of my least favorite ways to die, and I like to be forewarned about these things.

[Which isn't to say that revenge is out of the question, and she's certainly not going to forget, but she isn't attached to Alex enough yet to go messing with people straonger than she is on his behalf.]

[There's also the fact that getting strangled by Chris offends him on a deep level. Because it's Chris. So he still doesn't want to talk about it.]

Just some asshole. Don't worry about it, he wasn't very good at it.

Oh, well, if he's obnoxious. Consider all my worries assuaged.

[Screw you for having a point, Anya.]

You met Red Mist?

I'm familiar.

[There's a hint of seriously? in her voice, but only a small one.]

[Double screw you. B|]

He's stronger than he looks. Especially when he's nuts.

Determination and madness can manage all manner of sins.

[It's low, somber. She doesn't know how to say be careful after Alex has insisted the attempted strangling was a bald failure, and yet -]

Best not to underestimate people just for being blustery or ridiculous.

[It's an agreement, of sorts, and she's absolutely serious about it.]

Yeah.

[A beat, and he's trolling a little bit, because come on, Anya. You're a little more transparent than you think you are.]

You be careful too.

I'm always careful.

[There's a beat from her end as well, and then, quiet and cold,]

I had everyone around me convinced, for years, that I was a frail, trembling damsel. Whether he's doing it on purpose or not, he's doing an admirable job getting everyone to dismiss him as a threat and he has the capacity.

[So, yes. She wants you to be careful. Even if you are a strong man with lasers who seems to have gotten out of it fine, and Anya is used to ~~Pietro~~ people brushing her concerns off.]

Why was he trying in the first place? My - friend, who hurt me, she had reasons, even if it took whatever's going on to drag them out.

Okay, okay. I'm taking him seriously, I swear.

[He's kind of touched despite himself, whether she's faking it or not. Because. Reasons.]

[And - grumble.] He was delusional and I was trying to get him to the infirmary.

[okay that is enough feels]

How's the infirmary handling things?

[yeah feels are the worst]

They're okay. Stressed but okay. I'm kind of impressed, actually.

Good to know.

[She throws him a little sloppy faux salute]

Keep fighting the good fight, I guess. Since you're into that.

Yeah, yeah.

[But he's grinning.]

Catch you later.

Do you know if Ms. Klein affected?

I don't have reason to believe she is.

Noted. Stay in your room.

That's the plan.

[Which is, unfortunately, not a yes. She keeps looking at the door and being surprised that it's in one piece again. She itches under her skin.]

Good. If you are in your room, keep the door locked.

Are you feeling all right?

Believe me, I know how to keep my head down.

[There's a delay as she tries to decide how to answer the question, typing outand then deleting several answers.]

~~Fine~~

~~No, I~~

~~Yesterday, someone I thought was a friend~~

~~As well as I can under the circumsta~~

~~Pleased as punch, don't worry about m~~

[Pietro probably gets impatient with her lack of answer before she manages to pick one.]

[ It's enough to drive his worry meter up to nine thousand under these conditions; he switches to voice. ]

Anya? Areyouallright?

I don't know?

[She hasn't been crying, but her voice is still shaky.]

I'm not hurt. Physically. Anymore.

What happened?

[ Who does he have to murder? ]

She said we were friends.

[Because her brain is still stuck on that part. Cass said they were friends and Anya hadn't had one before and of course she messed it all up.]

Only I was ruining her family the whole time and I didn't even know.

[ Friends. So no murder, maybe. He tone shifts, some of the aggression fading from it, although none of the concern. ]

Whose family? Anya, who do you mean? What did she say to you?

When I was, when I first got here. Someone killed me. Just - saw me in the way and choked the life out of me and I was new, okay, I didn't know I'd come back and I was so scared.

[Her voice gets a little shaky but she's trying to keep it under control.]

Bruce tried to protect me. He died trying, even though he knew I'd come back, even though he'd barely known me an hour. And he's - he's wonderful. Only he was her...not-dad-person first, and I took her place, and I never wanted to but I don't want to give him up, I couldn't, and what if he replaces me too?

[ Oh, Anya. He wants to tell her that no one would ever do that to her, that this Bruce fellow will always have a place for her, but experience has taught him never to trust anyone that much. People you love will betray you. People you've known all your life will cast you out. Only family is certain. ]

You won't be alone.

[ That much, at least, he can promise. ]

Relationships are not a zero sum game, in any case. I know that it feels that way [ he has felt that way ], but it's not as if he only has so much affection to give out, and anyone who tells you that is an idiot.

[She chokes a little, at that, because she was, she was so alone for so long, but she isn't here, even if she has lost her friend. She's not going to cry. Damnit, she's not.]

She didn't say that, it's just - he's. Gentler. With me. I don't know if he actual cares more about me or not, but she thinks I'm normal, that that's why he'd - and compared to her maybe I am, I don't know -

[She's audibly cracking a little bit, not hysterical but hinting strongly at it, because isn't that a goddamn laugh and a half. Normal, any of them. Though compared to anyone here she is, which is far too close to things she really doesn't want to admit yet. So she grinds her teeth and snarls and being angry and confused is much, much better than the alternative.]

And then the guy who choked me to death just for standing around my first day here protected me and I have no damn idea what to think.

Edited 2013-03-08 06:54 (UTC)

She attacked you.

[ Confirming more than asking, putting the pieces together, finally — the disease, the symptoms. There's a lump in his throat suddenly, She could have been infected already, but he pushes it down. She said she was fine, and it's clear enough that the emotional wounds are more pressing, as if he has any idea what to do with those. ]

Anya, she may not have been herself. The illness that is spreading through the ship right now, it's affecting the mind. She might not have meant anything she said to you.

She meant it.

[It's dull, resignedly sad.]

Maybe she wouldn't have ever, done anything if it weren't for, that thing, but the reasons, the feelings, I'm pretty sure those were real.

There is a difference between the thoughts that wander into your head and those you choose to act on. The choice is important, and when forces beyond your control take that away—

[ He shakes his head. It's not sufficient, just talking about it in the abstract. ]

There is a demon — an Elder God, whatever the terminology of the month is for evil — called Chthon. Wanda and I were born too near to his domain, and that makes it easier for him to hop into our heads whenever some dullard with an Eldrich dictionary starts up a chant. [ Comic book problems. ] I've fought my teammates, my friends. I tried to kill people I would otherwise trust with my life, and the fact that I had reason to be angry at several of them beforehand doesn't mean I meant it.

It isn't the same.

Edited 2013-03-29 06:08 (UTC)

[She sniffles a little and tries to muffle it.]

I still. Hate that I made her feel that way, at all.

But thanks.

[It helps.]

Of course. [ It's a reflexive you're welcome, although he sounds half surprised that that did help. Maybe he's not quite as terrible at this as he thought. (Close, but not quite.) ]

Unfortunately, there's no magic spell to keep you from inadvertently hurting people's feelings.

[ Which he does actually sound a little sad about. IF ONLY. :/ ]

Yeah. God. And everything feels so upside-down, even after he healed me I just kept remembering what he was like before, I couldn't get enough air and...

You're safe now. [ Safer, at least. ] And you cannot be expected to be comfortable around him, no matter how he helps.

[A little steadier - angrier, but steadier.]

No. No, I can't and I'm not, and. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Who got you? I can lock you up if you need it..

[She is going to end whoever did this.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

005 ☣ Backdated to earlyish on the second day of the contagion plot

separate/voice/day 2

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