028 ☣ public post

[fridgetothefire]

[When the view clicks on, Anya is obviously changed. She has the glowing blue eyes, and her skin looks almost grey. She isn't quite light-skinned enough for classic pallor, but the color is leached from her face. She sits still and straight, with a degree of composure that is, in fact, precisely normal for her. She missed breakfast today, and now it's quite clear why.]

I've allowed Arthas to make me into a zombie for a few days. It is entirely temporary, and I am in control of myself and my faculties. There is no need for anyone to be alarmed.

Comments

[deadly_ned]

You're a smart person. You knew people would find this...worrying. Upsetting, even.


It might not be the, um. The best way to announce it to the Barge to then tell people to respect your choices when the people who like you and don't want to see you hurt are concerned.

Especially when nothing like this has ever, um.

Been done before.

Because it is. Concerning.

[fridgetothefire]

I knew people would find it worrying in a...gut reaction sort of way. I'd hoped they would believe me when I said I wasn't suffering or mind-controlled or permanently changed, which are the concerns that matter most.

Would it have been better to let people bump into me and be surprised by the eyes?

[deadly_ned]

It might have been better to let people know before it happened.

Not so they would have been able to stop you. But so they could have been there for support. And if something went wrong.

[fridgetothefire]

But they would have stopped me. Some of them would.

[She thinks this is fairly obvious from all the reactions.]

I didn't need support. I did tell someone in case it went wrong, but it didn't.

[deadly_ned]

Fine. It's. It's done. I'm not....condoning it and I'm a little disturbed that Arthas needs to explore his powers like this but why you did it is your own business and.

If something goes wrong, I'd want to know about it.

[fridgetothefire]

If you're concerned about his reasons, you should talk to him.

[This is actually mildly encouraging, rather than sharp. She thinks they're somewhat noble, but it's not hers to tell.]

I'll keep that in mind. Thank you.

[deadly_ned]

I've actually...talked a lot to him about this exact thing. Not the Deathknight parts. The other bits.

[fridgetothefire]

Which bits, then?

[Less prickly now, actually curious.]

[deadly_ned]

Bits having to do with death. Mostly.

[fridgetothefire]

...oh fine, be that way.

[But she's a little amused, not angry. She's the last person who can fault someone for being cagey.]

Well, ask him about the Death Knight bits too, if you want.

[deadly_ned]

Sorry. It's best that it's kept between us. Arthas is very secretive.

I will. This is the first I've heard of it.

[fridgetothefire]

You don't have to apologize. Not for that, anyway.

[deadly_ned]

What do I have to apologize for?

[fridgetothefire]

I can handle the consequences of my own actions.

And if that's in dispute, I'll thank you to bring it to me, or at least to Lua, rather than to Arthas. I'm not a child, and he isn't responsible for me.

[deadly_ned]

I'm sorry. You're an adult. You can handle the consequences.

[fridgetothefire]

It's fine that you're concerned. That's nice. I appreciate it.

But I've told you I'm okay, so don't...use me to lecture him. It's pointless and kind of demeaning to all three of us.

[She's not really mad anymore, as much as she ever was. It flickers up easily now, but thinking though it beats it down. And Ned's alright.]

[deadly_ned]

I didn't mean to demean. I'll be more careful in the future.


How.

How does it feel?

[fridgetothefire]

Strange. It feels strange.

Like someone replaced my bones and tendons with tinkertoys. Everything still moves right, but it feels - off, disconnected. And there's this constant, diffuse sense of...you know how when you're boiling something, and you accidentally pass your arm through the steam, and it's not quite hot enough to scald you, but all the hair on your arm singes and curls, how your skin there feels a little raw and tingly and exposed? A little like that, but everywhere at once.

[deadly_ned]

That sounds uncomfortable.

[fridgetothefire]

Yes. But - manageably so.

[deadly_ned]

Can I ask why?

[fridgetothefire]

Why it's manageable?

[deadly_ned]

Why you wanted to do it.

[fridgetothefire]

There were things I wanted to know. About the process, about myself. It's going fairly well.

And I wanted to help him, too. His reasons for wanting to experiment - made sense to me.

[deadly_ned]

I know. He's...he's a lot less angry than he used to be.