Anya Lehnsherr | Earth 97400 (
fridgetothefire) wrote2013-11-11 10:37 am
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034 ☣ all natural recycled post-consumer goodwill
[Public, video]
For everyone who hasn't heard yet, I graduated, a little while ago. I'll be staying, of course.
[Private to Arthas]
It happened while I was a death knight, actually. I should have told you sooner, I know, I'm sorry. I was figuring a lot of things out and I half believed it wouldn't even stick.
I don't know what that means, or if it means anything. But...you deserve to know.
Thank you.
[Private to Hannibal]
[She pays careful attention to the effects of the flood; she knows he would, too. When she's certain the waters have receded, she starts to cook. With the roast is in the oven and the soup simmering, she calls.]
I'm sure you know by now that there was another Dr. Lecter on board, before you. He was one of the first people who spoke to me here.
He made me lunch, when I was cold and shaken and alone. I realize you aren't in that sort of position, but I'd like to pay it forward, if you're willing.
[Spam for Nathan, also distinctly post-flood.]
[She knocks twice, smartly. She brought cookies.]
Nathan? It's Anya. I'd like to talk to you.
[Spam for Iris, slightly backdated.]
[Anya has found some interesting things in her new and improved warden's cabin. Like this old-fashioned hand-cranked ice cream maker, for example. Iris seems to be having a rough time of it, so Anya hauls the bulky little machine over to her cabin, kicks the door awkwardly instead of knocking.]
Iris, it's Anya. I want to show you something.
For everyone who hasn't heard yet, I graduated, a little while ago. I'll be staying, of course.
[Private to Arthas]
It happened while I was a death knight, actually. I should have told you sooner, I know, I'm sorry. I was figuring a lot of things out and I half believed it wouldn't even stick.
I don't know what that means, or if it means anything. But...you deserve to know.
Thank you.
[Private to Hannibal]
[She pays careful attention to the effects of the flood; she knows he would, too. When she's certain the waters have receded, she starts to cook. With the roast is in the oven and the soup simmering, she calls.]
I'm sure you know by now that there was another Dr. Lecter on board, before you. He was one of the first people who spoke to me here.
He made me lunch, when I was cold and shaken and alone. I realize you aren't in that sort of position, but I'd like to pay it forward, if you're willing.
[Spam for Nathan, also distinctly post-flood.]
[She knocks twice, smartly. She brought cookies.]
Nathan? It's Anya. I'd like to talk to you.
[Spam for Iris, slightly backdated.]
[Anya has found some interesting things in her new and improved warden's cabin. Like this old-fashioned hand-cranked ice cream maker, for example. Iris seems to be having a rough time of it, so Anya hauls the bulky little machine over to her cabin, kicks the door awkwardly instead of knocking.]
Iris, it's Anya. I want to show you something.
private
Do you know what I've been asked several times already?
private
Tell me.
private
[Which isn't really a question she's equipped to answer. Besides which, even if he wasn't, she'd still try even if it was like beating her head against a brick wall.]
I'm curious about your impression on that subject.
private
I don't know him well enough yet. Which is a cop-out. And here's another: any time I try to answer, it devolves into a schizophrenic debate on the definition of redemption.
I don't think his crimes are so much worse than the worst of mine. I don't think he can ever manage something as monumental and idyllic as making amends, but I also don't think that's actually required. I think he is compelled by his neuroses and in ways he believes he is in control of, and I think that is neither excusable nor insurmountable.
I don't know if he can ever be brought to care for other people as you and I understand caring, but I believe his...perspective on the objective value of others can be shifted, whether he feels anything for them or not. I believe he can made to modify his behavior. He's a survivor, and adapting is what we do.
private
I think you're absolutely right.
[It's really very nice not to have to explain. Not that she'd try for most people, but she'd try for Anya, if it weren't so damn effortless.]
Adapting is what we do. Circumstances just need to change enough that modifying his behavior seems like his best choice.
I'm going to be cruel to him. Mostly because I wouldn't want any less, myself, but for other reasons, too.
private
[Read: without backsliding. That she's aware of the risks means she has a much better chance.]
I think it's probably what he needs. From a certain quarter. For continuing as he has to become intolerable.
private
[So - if she makes the right choices, if she doesn't let herself get careless, if she doesn't give in to temptation, if she stays focused and controlled. All of which Mal has complete faith she will do. Well. 95% complete faith. Everyone makes mistakes.]
He's good at cruelty. But I don't think he knows other people can be as good. That's why it's for the best that we're paired, you know. We're not so different at the heart.
[More different than she gives herself credit for; similar enough that she can feel his motivations, even if not see them.]
private
[The ways in which Mal is different from him, from both of them.]
private
I'd give you my blessing if I believed in them.
private
private
Wouldn't that be cheating?
[Not a no, just a thought.]