Anya Lehnsherr | Earth 97400 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fridgetothefire) wrote2013-06-19 11:41 am
fridgetothefire) wrote2013-06-19 11:41 am
017 ☣ Infirmary post + some housekeeping things
[Backdated to Tuesday]
[She's been in the infirmary since late Sunday night, but she spent most of Monday sleeping. She looks a little pale, propped against pillows, hooked up to an IV, but she seems comfortable enough.]
Hello, barge.
I am so bored. Worse, I can't read without getting a headache right now. So.
[She holds up an infirmary clipboard, the paperwork turned over so she could draw neat, careful charts on the back.]
Come in, sign up for a half-hour time slot and book. Books are sorted by genre and how many hours I estimate it will take to finish them. If you read to me, I'll bake you something nice later.
[OOC: feel free to ignore the regimented tyranny of storytime and talk to her about whatever, either on the network or via spam.]
[Private spam for Ben, before the attacks.]
[She knocks on his door, a cold, shaken look on her face.]
[She's been in the infirmary since late Sunday night, but she spent most of Monday sleeping. She looks a little pale, propped against pillows, hooked up to an IV, but she seems comfortable enough.]
Hello, barge.
I am so bored. Worse, I can't read without getting a headache right now. So.
[She holds up an infirmary clipboard, the paperwork turned over so she could draw neat, careful charts on the back.]
Come in, sign up for a half-hour time slot and book. Books are sorted by genre and how many hours I estimate it will take to finish them. If you read to me, I'll bake you something nice later.
[OOC: feel free to ignore the regimented tyranny of storytime and talk to her about whatever, either on the network or via spam.]
[Private spam for Ben, before the attacks.]
[She knocks on his door, a cold, shaken look on her face.]
[ Spam ]
[It's lighter now, less shuttered, less ashamed of her own low-simmer hunger. It's Ladd. She still doesn't know what he'd have done to her if Bruce hadn't intervened before he lost patience with her. It's okay to want him ripped open.]
[ Spam ]
[The answer is immediate, unhesitating. He'll never regret it and he sees no reason to pretend otherwise. At the time it had felt right for different reasons than the ones that settled in later.
Disappointing Rhade had not felt good at all, and it's the only reason he's remotely conflicted about it now.]
There was a woman - I thought she was the Blue Lady. She asked me for him, and my warden was not there to stop me, and neither was anyone else. It seemed like less a coincidence and more... rightful punishment.
I lured him into the CTS. We fought. He was stronger than I am but I'm better trained. I broke his neck, took his teeth, and left him there to rot.
It only took Gaheris a few days to find him, once he'd returned. We went to Zero together. I'm not proud of upsetting Gaheris, but it still feels right.
[Spam ]
[Because he really, really did.]
[Spam ]
That I could act. That I could do something that others couldn't, for several reasons. That it was safer for me to act than for most.
[Ben is, by and large, polite and standoffish these days. He's been called gentle, and sweet, and kind. But there's an edge that lives beneath all that, hammered into being by Manticore and honed by relentless training during his formative years, and it's there as he speaks. Just a glimpse of what he was intended to be from the start.]
[Spam ]
I know I've said it before. But I'm still glad you did. He scared me.
[He scared her in a way raw danger can't, the slouching malice, the way he could hurt Lua in ways the Admiral might not be able to repair.]
[Spam ]
Since he gave in to it in an attempt to make something, anything, make sense.
Now he tilts his head ever so slightly to a side, and replies evenly.]
Gaheris was displeased, and that is not something I am proud of. But I would do it again, if I found the circumstances... replicated.
Not the Lady. The rest of it. If someone needs stopped, and no one will stop them.
[It's a promise, in between the vague, deliberate words. He's spent too much of his own life being afraid, and now he's found that he can fight back. He will.]
[Spam ]
And like it?
[The question is light, poised, almost birdlike. Despite the phrasing, she isn't sure of the answer. Motivated by necessity, by safety and justice, doesn't really require anything about his emotions either way.]
[Spam ]
[Ben's reply is similarly poised, intent and focused like a cat's stare though his posture is relaxed into the role. He perches precariously on the line Manticore scarred into his psyche, the paper thin divide between volition and purpose; he lets her see it, wonders idly if she will. If she'll understand.
No one else has, yet.]
It depends on who it is, why they cannot control themselves, and why others will not.
[Spam ]
I think I understand.
[Spam ]
[His answer is sincere and, more than that, with a thread of gratitude winding through it. He believes her, and he wants to do what he can to help, and he's not always capable of it. Ben enjoys the athleticism that Manticore gave him, and he's learning to push back when he's pushed because there is nothing physical he need fear, not really; sometimes the enjoyment stretches to fighting, to killing. Not often, but sometimes, and it's important that it's his pleasure he's seeking, not some distant echo branded into him through expectation and discipline. Not because he's doing well for someone else.
Not because causing pain to anyone, anything else because it was visited upon him for so long. That's the line.]
Are you feeling better now?
[Spam ]
Very much.
[There are still parts of her she doesn't quite want to grapple with, all tied up with her mother and killing and the thrill of power in her hands, but she feels - braced, to grapple with it, when she has to. Better prepared, and less alone.]
Thank you.
[Spam ]
You're welcome.